


together, we'll go

by spiritedaway (bijyu)



Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Smut, M/M, References to Depression, i love woogyu so much idek, sort of a comfort fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-01
Updated: 2016-02-01
Packaged: 2018-05-17 15:19:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5875915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bijyu/pseuds/spiritedaway
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He feels the warmth of Woohyun's body pressed flush against his, breathes in the scent of his shampoo, and thinks about how much he loves him— even when he's not okay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	together, we'll go

Woohyun is better these days. He smiles and laughs more often, and it's genuine. It warms Sunggyu's heart; he hates that choked up laughter Woohyun uses to hide his pain. To anyone paying attention it's obvious the way his eyes gleam when he laughs like that. It's as if they're filled with tears he hasn't been able to let out for a long time, and forcing himself to laugh makes holding them back even more difficult.

He's better, Sunggyu knows, but better doesn't mean good. He still often has trouble sleeping at night, and then he doesn't leave the bed until Sunggyu drags him out. He still sometimes has moments when he suddenly stops doing something and he gets that hazed, absent look in his eyes. Sunggyu knows he still cries alone, when instead of pushing the negative thoughts away, he allows them to them take over.

He wishes Woohyun would let him know when that happens, he wishes he could hold him, or distract him, do anything to make things better— not in general, he knows it's not that easy, but at least in that moment. But he knows better than to press the issue. Woohyun hates it when Sunggyu worries too much.

"I hate feeling like a burden," he whispered during one of those times when he let Sunggyu comfort him. He wasn't looking at Sunggyu, instead staring at the window, angrily wiping his tears away. "I hate that because of how I've been feeling… I'm bound to be a burden. I hate that no matter how hard I try, it doesn't go away…"

Sunggyu wanted to hug him back then. But despite how soft Woohyun looked, dressed in a pale pink sweater, his hair tousled, eyes puffy, lips quivering— despite that, he could sense how tense he was, and he knew he wouldn't be soft and pliant in his embrace, that he'd push him away. So instead he held Woohyun's hand, so tightly his knuckles turned white, hoping that it would give Woohyun some comfort. And maybe it did— a grip this hard must have hurt but Woohyun didn't pull his hand away.

"You could never be a burden to us," Sunggyu whispered. "Woohyun, to me, you're…"

Support, warmth, safety. Friendship, love, music, life. Everything, he thought.

"So important," he finished, his voice cracking a little.

Woohyun didn't respond, but he rested his head on Sunggyu's shoulder and let him hold his hand for a long, long time.

 

*

 

These days, Woohyun lets others comfort him more and more often. Sunggyu wants to believe it's another sign of improvement. He seems less self-conscious about being needy, and at those moments when the sadness pulls him away from his daily tasks, he doesn't reject their support.

And today, Sunggyu can't help but notice that despite being exhausted, Woohyun seems genuinely pleased with the effects of the practice. His eyes have a healthy spark to them when he discusses the choreography with Dongwoo, and his laugh is cheerful and warm when he good-naturedly bickers with Sungjong.

"How are you today?" Sunggyu asks him when they get to the dorms. He's made a habit of asking that Woohyun— not every day, but still rather frequently. Woohyun gives him a quick, nervous glance, like he usually does when Sunggyu asks him that, but then he smiles.

"Okay," he responds. Sunggyu gives him a look. Just don't say okay, he told Woohyun the first time he asked him that question. He didn't know how else to show his concern, to let Woohyun know he'd be by his side, than to make him understand that he was fine with the truth. That the truth wasn't a bother. Back then, Woohyun dropped his eyes and said, "not so good". But now he's meeting his eyes, still smiling.

"No, really. I'm just.. okay." He shrugs. "I promise."

Sunggyu nods, returning the smile. He reaches out and gives Woohyun's hand a brief squeeze, hoping he'd understand what he means. 'I'm proud of you'. Woohyun would just roll his eyes at him if he said it out loud but— he needs him to know.

He remembers how upset he was with Woohyun before he understood. How he thought his behavior was unreasonable, that he was being lazy, that it couldn't be so difficult to at least pretend to be okay for the sake of the other members, and their fans. He's still angry with himself for ever thinking that way. For getting into a fight with Woohyun over it. For making him cry.

So more than anything, he wants Woohyun to know that all those hurtful words he said back then were a result of ignorance. That he doesn't think that way anymore.

And that he's really is proud. He still is, even later that day, when they're in the kitchen cleaning up after the dinner, and Woohyun drops a mug and his mood seems to drop along with it. It seems too much, to start crying over a broken cup, but Sunggyu knows it's not really what Woohyun is upset about. He's glad Woohyun doesn't protest when he pulls him into a hug. He holds him close, close, lets him cry on his shoulder, hoping that it will help, if only just a little.

He feels the warmth of Woohyun's body pressed flush against his, breathes in the scent of his shampoo, and thinks about how much he loves him— even when he's not okay.

 

*

 

When Woohyun pulls him into his room, locks the door and presses him against the wall, Sunggyu is genuinely surprised. He doesn't get to voice a question, though, because the next second Woohyun's lips are on his, firm and urgent.

It's been a while since they last did it, but it feels as good and familiar as ever. Sunggyu places his hands on Woohyun's hips and pulls him closer; the kiss awoke feelings he'd been pushing down for a while and he wants, needs to feel Woohyun everywhere.

"I've missed this," Woohyun mumbles against his lips. "God, I want you…" And then he's kissing him again, hot, wet, bruising, and Sunggyu feels lightheaded, leaning back against the wall heavily. He's already hard and he can't help the strangled sound he makes when Woohyun rocks his hips against him.

Their relationship might seem unusual to other people. They can go weeks without doing anything romantic or sexual, it just happens with the lack of time and energy due to their hectic schedules. But even without any verbal or physical confirmation, they know they're together. They always are. They trust each other completely and that sense of stability is one of the most important things in Sunggyu's life.

It's really been a long time. Sunggyu didn't initiate anything because he didn't want to put any pressure on Woohyun when he was going through a hard time. And only now it hits him with full force, just how much he's missed it. He needs Woohyun's touch so much.

Soon they find themselves in Sunggyu's bed, hurriedly, a little clumsily, taking off each other's clothes, touching and kissing whatever patch of skin they can reach. Woohyun helps Sunggyu tug off his underwear and then he pushes him down to the bed and instantly attaches his lips to Sunggyu's skin, leaves a trail of wet kisses from his hipbone to his navel, where he dips his tongue. Sunggyu's breath hitches at the sensation.

"Woohyun," he says, voice husky with arousal, and he tries to sit up, help Woohyun finish undressing and touch him, touch him everywhere— but Woohyun pushes him back down to the bed.

"Don't move," Woohyun says; his voice is commanding but the smile he gives Sunggyu as he looks up at him is shy, and it's what really makes Sunggyu obey. "You've been taking care of me all this time," Woohyun whispers, "I want to take care of you too." He wraps his hand around Sunggyu's cock and gives it a light stroke and Sunggyu moans softly, bucking his hips. He doesn't protest.

It's not that he dislikes control. He enjoys making Woohyun fall apart under his touch, likes making him come undone. He knows Woohyun needs it, he's especially needed that recently, and it's easiest to bring his walls down during sex. The last time they did it, it was loving and tender; he kissed every part of Woohyun's body, whispered sweet nothings to him. When he slowly fucked Woohyun into the bed, Woohyun clung onto him and cried, repeating "I love you, Sunggyu, I love you". Just the memory makes Sunggyu's heart clench.

But he'd be lying if he said he didn't miss Woohyun taking care of him, too. Woohyun is really good at it; he usually likes being in control just as much as Sunggyu. But it's been so long. So now, when Woohyun pins him down and tells him not to move, his heart is pounding so hard in his chest it feels like it might burst.

"Can I fuck you, hyung?" Woohyun breathes and Sunggyu shivers, nodding, letting Woohyun spread his legs.

They often talk during sex, and more often than not it's playful, teasing, or dirty. But they're quiet this time and in a way, it makes Sunggyu feel vulnerable. He can hear it all too clearly, how his breath catches when Woohyun stretches him with his fingers, the gasp he can't help but let out when Woohyun curls his fingers inside him, pressing against the spot that makes his body tense in pleasure, clench on Woohyun's fingers. Woohyun keeps kissing, touching him— his shoulders, chest, stomach, hips, thighs— and it's almost too much, the warm, tingling sensations, and that thrilling notion he doesn't need to do anything, just take whatever Woohyun decides to give him.

And it feels so good, when Woohyun pushes into him. It's been long, so even with the careful preparation and a lot of lube, it burns a little, but it doesn't bother him at all. He loves it, the way Woohyun enters him so slowly, loves feeling every inch of his cock stretching him gradually, until he's all the way inside.

"You feel so good, hyung," Woohyun whispers against his ear. His voice sounds strained, as if he's barely holding back from fucking him hard, and Sunggyu makes a small sound and wraps his legs around Woohyun's waist, pulling him closer, making him sink even deeper inside. The sensation makes him moan; he likes feeling so full, he's always liked it. In a way it makes him feel safe, like he's wanted, like he belongs— and he knows he can only feel this way with Woohyun. He would never, ever be able to trust anyone else this much.

When Woohyun starts to move, Sunggyu's thoughts dissolve in a haze of pleasure, but what stays is the notion that he needs, needs Woohyun so much, always, always. He feels Woohyun's hot breath on his skin, his fingers digging into his hips almost painfully, and he feels him inside, and it's all so good he has trouble staying quiet, though he should, they're not alone in the dorms— it's really been too long.

"You're so perfect," Woohyun whispers to him and Sunggyu's heart leaps, his throat tightening. He wants to laugh and respond with something like of course, I was born that way, though what he really thinks is no, I could never be. He doesn't say anything, he just presses closer to Woohyun, and maybe he should be embarrassed with how needy he is but he doesn't care, he just lets himself drown in all the sensations.

"I'm sorry," Woohyun tells him afterwards, when they're lying next to each other, just enjoying the closeness. "I think… I've been selfish."

Sunggyu scoffs. "As you should." He takes Woohyun's hand in his and gives it a light squeeze. "You never put yourself first, Hyun, but you need to do it now."

Woohyun looks like he's about to protest and Sunggyu squeezes his hand harder. "Do it for me, yeah?"

Woohyun stares at him for a moment, then his expression relaxed into a soft smile. "You know I'd do anything for you, right? How can you use it against me. So mean."

Sunggyu chuckles. "Shut up," he grumbles, and pulls Woohyun into a hug. He hears him sigh shakily, feels his chest rise and fall with his uneven breath. He understands.

 

*

 

Sunggyu remembers how Woohyun was before, always full of enthusiasm. Always getting up early and preparing them breakfast, humming happy tunes under his breath. He was energetic, bright and happy. Brilliant, strong, confident. He remembers, but it doesn't matter, because Woohyun the way he is now is just as precious to him. He wants to be by his side, he wants him to get better— to be as healthy and happy as possible.

"How are you today?" he asks, rubbing Woohyun's tummy playfully beneath the covers. Woohyun gives him a smile— a little drowsy, a little tired, but warm and honest, nonetheless.

"I don't know," he responds, voice heavy with sleep. He sighs and shifts to his side, facing Sunggyu. "Better, I think."

Sunggyu runs his hand through Woohyun's hair, rubs his thumb over his temple and down the side of his face, to his lips. And then he leans in and kisses him, soft and sweet, not caring about their morning breath at all. Woohyun lets out a sigh and moves closer to him. And as Sunggyu wraps his arms around him, he gets that feeling, the one that clutches at his chest almost painfully, the one that tells him he's holding in his arms all that's most precious to him in this world.

Better, he thinks, is a word full of promise. And he'll stay with Woohyun, no matter what, supporting him until maybe, one day, he'll be able to say "good" or maybe even, "never been better."

No matter what, he'll stay.

 

 

 

 

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